Pedophiles don't have signs on their backs or neon arrows pointing over their heads.

It's easier to believe that the "dirty old man in the park", rather than the clean-cut bus driver down the street, is a pedophile.

Pedophiles aren't confined to our Catholic churches. They are in Protestant churches, synagogues, and mosques. Some of them are teachers, counselors, scout leaders, truck drivers, factory workers, and youth ministers. In fact, they are wherever children can be found, irrespective of age, race, education, occupation, class, social standing, or income.

Celibacy isn't the reason priests prey on children. Sexual attraction to children, and sexual gratification from children, are the reasons.

Though there is no hard and fast profile of a pedophile, here are some general characteristics:

• Popular with both children and adults.
• Appears to be trustworthy and respectable. Has good standing in the community.
• Prefers the company of children. Feels more comfortable with children than adults. Is mainly attracted to prepubescent boys and girls. Can be heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual.
• "Grooms" children with quality time, video games, parties, candy, toys, gifts, money.
• Singles out children who seem troubled and in need of attention or affection.
• Often dates or marries women with children that are the age of his preferred victims.
• Rarely forces or coerces a child into sexual contact. Usually through trust and friendship. Physical contact is gradual, from touching, to picking up, to holding on lap, to kissing, etc.
• Derives gratification in a number of ways. For some, looking is enough. For others, taking pictures or watching children undress is enough. Still others require more contact.
• Finds different ways and places to be alone with children.
• Are primarily (but not always) male, masculine, better-educated, more religious than average, in their thirties, and choose jobs allowing them greater access to children.
• Are usually family men, have no criminal record, and deny that they abuse children, even after caught, convicted, incarcerated, and court-ordered into a sex offender program. The marriage is often troubled by sexual dysfunction, and serves as a smokescreen for the pedophile's true preferences and practices.
• Are often, but not always, themselves victims of some form of childhood sexual abuse.
• Even if the pedophile has no children, his home is usually child-friendly, with toys, books, video games, computers, bikes, swing sets, skateboards, rec room, pool, snacks - things to attract children to his home and keep them coming back. Usually the items reflect the preferred age of his victims.
• A female pedophile usually abuses a child when partnered with an adult male pedophile, and is often herself a victim of chronic sexual abuse.
• A pedophile can act independently, or be involved in an organized ring, including the Internet, NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association), and other pro-pedophilia groups. Some pedophiles recognize that their behavior is criminal, immoral, and unacceptable by society, and operate in secrecy. Some are quite open and militant about their practices and advocate the normalization of pedophilia under the guise of freedom of speech and press, and uses innocuous language like "intergenerational intimacy."

Pedo means "child" in Greek. Phile is a derivative of Greek, Latin, and French, meaning "love."

The Exclusive type of pedophile is attracted to children only. The Non-Exclusive is attracted to both children and adults.

A pedophile will not stop on his own, and will not turn himself in, because he does not take responsibility for his behavior and denies that he's doing anything harmful. He will abuse until he's caught.

A child not always recognizes when he or she is being abused, manipulated, or groomed by a pedophile. Unless the pedophile is a sexual sadist, he does not have to threaten a child into silence. The trust, gifts, secrecy, and "relationship" are enough. In some cases, the abuser will coerce the child into silence by saying that if anyone finds out, he would go to jail, or the child would, and maybe the child's parents. In other cases, threats to harm the child, pets, and family are used.

Pedophiles can be "treated" but never cured, because their sexual preference has always been, and always will be, children. Their urges will always be present. Therefore, treatment focuses on changing, curbing, or re-directing the acting-out behaviors of pedophiles.

Knowing the profile of a pedophile, does this mean that the little league coach who has a great rapport with kids and treats them to pizza at his house is suspect? Or that the teacher who throws pool parties is? Of course not. The majority of people who like and work with children are not pedophiles. It does mean that we should be observant of all the adults in our children's lives, whether they wear a white collar, a blue collar, or a clerical collar.

If a child tells us he or she has been sexually abused by someone, be it family, friend, or trusted adult, we are obligated by law to report it to a child abuse hotline, police, or local children's services agency.

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Profile of a Pedophile

In reporting sexual abuse, it is important to realize that the burden of proof will be on you. Defense attorneys will discredit the Mother, the attending therapist (if any are involved), and the children. This lawyer will infer guilt by the actions of another party, anything and everything to raise reasonable doubt. It is the obligation of the lawyer to do this. This "obligation" does not minimize the trauma for the victims and their families, being forced to endure it.
Reporting does not guarentee a conviction, and without physical evidence, or an independent witness, the odds are not in favor of the victim.
I speak, sadly, from experience.
The only positive MAY be that in having been reported, the pedophile will seek treatment once the case is dropped, and perhaps will not offend agaid.
My question...is it fair to the victims?
I did the "right" thing, but having traveled that road, I would never, ever put my children into that arena again.
The D.A. should not put children through embarassing interrogations when the case is weak. To hope the offender will "cop a plea" does not justfy the process, in my opinion.
Therapists should be mandated to report only in situations where the offender has rights to see the victims. The best therapy is to talk it out, express the evolving feelings, and to NEVER EVER look at that person again.
Insufficient evidence does not mean the acts did not occur...it means they cannot be proven. Try explaining that to a ten year old.

Kathleen LoVoi , September 10, 2009 | url

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This is disgusting

In reading the research that I have read, I've been trying very hard to understand how in the hell someone can be sexually attracted to something so innocent and so defenseless as a child. I adore children and I believe that children are proof that God exists. They have a lot of love to give.

With that being said, I'm sorry but in my opinion, All pedophiles should be jailed for life or be put to death.

Concerned Citizen , October 05, 2009

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pedophiles are sick but i also feel sorry for theam when there had been abused as a familly member of mine was wen there was 5 i dont think there should be put to death there sick and need help

liam.g , November 09, 2009

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What are the available and recommended treatments for a male pedophile - other than be jailed for life or be put to death?

Curious , November 19, 2009

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... , Low-rated comment [Show]

Is there anyother tidbits to watch for

I was a victim of child abuse and i put the petifile in jail for life. When i was younger my cousin (call him a) told me that he was doing stuff to his brother (Call him b). Because i didn't think that was wrong, I had no reason to be worried about it. it has been almost 15 years and now my cousin(b) that was abuse by his older brother(a) is living with me and I have his little brother(Call him c) here. I got help to deal and learn right and wrong. But B is now 18 years old and shows signs of emotional abuse, and seems a little slow or perhaps with a learning disablity. I would go to any link to protect c and i do not want to accuse b of somthing and ruin a perfectly good relation ship between b and c if there is nothing wrong.
Is there any other info i can get without causing a scene and ruin my family?

ck , November 25, 2009

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With regard to the comment left immediately below mine, I would like to clarify that I was addressing the tendency to label certain situations as abusive no matter what the circumstances. I was (hopefully obviously) not trying to make out that there is no such thing as child abuse.

In response to ck, I was going to say, there's really not enough information here to give a very informed answer - first of all be sure that B's emotional difficulties were actually as a direct result of his involvement with c. From the information you gave, B would have been 3 at the time - sounds a bit young, but sex play can be normal among children even at that age (and even between cousins). It is actually rare that acute emotional difficulties first arise so many years after a traumatic event - it is common however that such difficulties are *attributed* to the event for various reasons. You mention that B might have other learning difficulties, so it entirely possible that this may be causing problems, or of cause any number of other things. Not saying sexual abuse isn't the problem, just that jumping to conclusions isn't necessarily the best way forward.

As for C, I reckon this basically depends on how old he is. Unless he really is a toddler or a baby, probably the best thing to do would be not to worry that C might be "too young to understand", and actually talk to him about it candidly (although not relating it to any person in particular).

Reading over the author of this article's previous post on "sexual reactive children" I suspect she may disagree. However, as I went some way to explaining in my previous post, I think getting hung up over the (always ill defined) concept of "age appropriateness" is doing nobody any favors, and is only us falling prey to our emotions and social conditioning as to what children "should" and "shouldn't" know. By following this advice we are IMHO far from protecting children, only setting them up for naivity, confusion and vulnerability.

bluechip , November 26, 2009

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I take it you are an active pedophile, if so, then please explain at what age children are ready for sexual activity.

seanb , November 26, 2009

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no, i'm not a paedophile at all... why are you so quick to jump to conclusions? I just think that the way society currently thinks about this subject is actually having the opposite to intended effect - not to mention making the lives of many paedophiles a living hell. I regret not being able to show you the evidence for my opinions in full - it could take some time. I would encourage you to take in mind what I said, however, and not disregard it because "he must be a paedophile". (Even if I was, that would be an ad hominem attack and hence unaccpetable - "that person wants the vote. But she's female!"). It has actually been my experience that my opinion is actually widely shared within academic circles, but that for fear of the consequences few dare to speak out. (There have been some furious media backlashes in the past, ultimately reaching the dizzy heights of voting in the US senate and spelling the end of careers.)

in answer to your question, there is no cut off. There is no one point at which a child is "ready". Many children engage in sexual activity from well before puberty, and NOT only as a result of abuse. This is why we need to treat every case on an individual basis, and not try and force fit abuse to any given situation that fits a preset description. However - and I think this is an important distinction - it is obviously not *desirable* for children to have sex. I personally would recommend an age of consent of 13 (based on a reliable statistical model) and modifying laws to include charges for "irresponsible" sexual activity. I put a lot of trust in human ability to pick out the good from the bad, just as we do for adults.

bluechip , November 27, 2009

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by the way seanb, your comment demonstrates exactly what I am talking about. You immediately disregard paragraphs of cogent arguments in one single line, because they disagree with your own sensibilities. For goodness sake, drink some coffee and realise that such an ad hominem attack is the most stupid reply you could ever have made.

I don't actually blame you though. Were media reporting and police PR anything like accurate and unbiased, I would have no hesitation in imposing anything other than the strictest restraints on paedophiles. However, the real evidence tells a different story. In today's society, I do not blame the general public from being under the most convincing of illusions. Unfortuantely it acts a bit like a self reinforcing feedback loop, whereby demand for stricter legislation results in more convictions, which results in demand for stricter legislation, and so on. Without anybody saying, hang on, wait a second, this is out of proportion, it runs away with itself. I'm not denying that horrible rape happens; obviously it does, and offenders should be subject to the harshest punishment. I'm just saying it is crucial that we recognise this as one end of a distribution, or we as a society are effectively generating our own problems.

bluechip , November 27, 2009

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I made the assumption because you were so desperately trying to convince us that it was normal for children and adults to engage in sex. As for my sensibilities, I feel that adults who engage in sexual activity with children are sick and that children need to be protected from those who think of them sexually. Meanwhile your own sensibilities are in question because you state that you feel child sexual abuse apparently is either acceptable behavior or simply does not exist ("so-called 'child sexual abuse'").

You feel the attempts to safeguard children from sexual activity is taken too far? I feel the opposite.

There are too many cases where church officials moved pedophile priests from one parish to the next to avoid prosecution and protect the image of the church. My feelings are that they should have been protecting the children and not the church.

I was sexually abused at the age of 5. By your arguments, I must have wanted this.

And you ask why I wonder if you are a pedophile... it is because you so vehemently wish to defend pedophilia. People who jump to the defense of heinous crimes tend to do so because they have something in common with those who committed the criminal act.

Why do people deny the Holocaust? Usually it is because they are anti-semitic.

I'm done discussing this with you however, the nice thing about running this website is that I don't have to approve any further comments you post.

seanb , November 27, 2009

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Petophiles

I take offence sean to your persicution of VICTUMS. I have my opinion. Casteration is a "moral solution!!" But that's not why I am here.

I need your help to figure out what has gone wrong and the prediciment my daughter is in.

I have tons of questions. Yes none are good but being "intentionally" isolated from my girl seems to make me wonder WHY!! Daddy is her defence, they won't let me near her????

Mr Bear , November 30, 2009

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Mr , Low-rated comment [Show]

i need a interview

well MR. i read wot u said, i hve 2 tell u that im from argentina n i need a interview (chat) with u 4 the school.
im in wireclub.find me ther.
i hope c u later.

anny4 , December 04, 2009 | url

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Pedophiles who act out their urges on children should not be allowed to live freely. Because their actions can easily create severe mental health issues for their vicims, it is a never ending cycle. Since some pedophiles became this way because they were abused as children, I do have some sympathy for them; however, if they also act on their impulses, they can never be trusted. I think all pedophiles who act on their impulses, even if just once, should be banned from society forever. It's just not worth it, and they do not contribute to the betterment of human kind.

Kabe , December 18, 2009

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My daughter, who was 12 at the time and her stepsister who was 14, were given alcohol by a male neighbor who was 30 at the time. Because they were too drunk to tell him to stop touching them (one of them vomited that night due to too much alcohol) the judge let the "pedophile" walk the streets with only 2 years probation for "contributing to the delinquency of a minor". We were all furious. I have researched the effects of alcohol on a child and plan on sending that to the jackass judge since he apparently does not know. Contradictory to his ruling, he ordered the "pedophile" to pay for any counseling the girls need. The only reason he didn't not get to finish the act was because the stepmother/mother knocked on the door which he answered after zipping his pants. He did however ask the girls to sneak out and come back later. Please tell me why the justice system has failed us? I plan on writing a letter to the judge. I hope he gets more sleep at night than I do. I am distraught.

Julia Kocke , January 08, 2010

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We had the same experience with my grandson being molested by his father and the Court, CPS and police won't act on putting this guy in jail. Claims are unsubstanciated they claim. And yet the therapist states that my grandson was m olested and more than once. But the Court has ordered supervised visits at the Mental Health Center with a therapist, but the visits are upsetting to my grandson. He acts wild after the visits (he is only 4) Why reward this sick man and allow visits to harm my grandson weekly? Where is the justice? Why doesn't the system protect the children?
They try to make it sound like we fabricated the abuse to prevent custody, but this guy never wanted custody! His only concerns is keeping contact with my daughter to continually harass her and make my grandson and daughter's life a living hell.
My grandson reported the abuse to his pre-school teacher and still they continue the visits.
Why isn't the system protecting my grandson?

Eagles Dancing , January 24, 2010

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Disagree on one part

i find the piece that stated "A female pedophile usually abuses a child when partnered with an adult male pedophile" to be incorrect. Some do and some do not and there are many more that do so on their own.

BloggerT , January 30, 2010 | url

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I am so confuse

OMG... I am so confuse now, after i have read your article.
With all my respect, i have read all 3 times and still i get to one conclusion : people can call pedophile one ...
I found myself in this description ...
Meaning : i adore children,i work with children, i play with them, i love to spend time with them,i love to offer them gifts ,to make them smiling...
My house is full with toys,i still love toys& cartoons ...
I prefer to spend my time with children -because they are so pure, they never lie you,they never offend/hurt you, they give me such a positive energy...
I am trustworthy and respectable.
I have good standing in the community.
I am exactly like this pedophile profile...

But... I've always been attracted only by man & i had a very normal healthy sexual live ( i had just 4 partners till age 31, today i am involve in a relationship since 5 years ago)
So I am not a pedophile !
Why i write all this here... being confuse like that , how can i recognize a true pedophile? how to bee sure and not have suspicions on everyone who love children very much?
Right now, for example i still have doubts about one particular person ...
Please if you can answer to me it will help a lot.
Thank you.

CARMEN T. , February 06, 2010

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THIS NEEDS TO BE READ~!!!

As a victim of child abuse by the hands of my own father for 8 years of my life from birth, reading this whole page of comments makes me sick to my stomach! from what ive read theres at least 2 paediophiles on here trying to justify there thoughts, actions and change what is morally right and wrong. My basis for this is what god says is right and wrong not what man decides to choose to forfill his own sick desires. where will we draw the line on what is morally right and wrong is'nt society depraved enough, and people are wanting to allow more depraved immoral behaviour. In reply to a comment that was made about making sex legal for 13yr olds make me sick to my stomach anyone at the age of 13 that has suffered at the hands of a child molestor is deeply affected in later life and yes if you are an adult and having sexual contact with anyone who emotionally and physically has the charecteristics of a child you are a paediophile. Regardless of age as far as im concerned sex should be preserved for marriage which would prevent any sexually immorality and perversion all together. As from my own experiences havin lost my virginaty at such a young age it tortures me menatlly every day and night to have had something so precious taken away from me having no say or choice in the matter or even knowing what had happened until it became a legal matter and my dad got sentanced to 14years it is only now at the age of 18 from writing a very long letter to him that ive realised what impact his actions (that he still to this day will not admit) has had on my emotional state and the way i live feel and analyse every day life with these pshychological problems. And weather this abuse was inflicted by my father or any other man being so young its enough to destroy any person thankfully i have a mother whos been with us all the way and 5 brothers and sisters to relate and conversate to about the whole situation. Thankfully im not struggling with what is morally right and wrong as other people are on this site because of my close relationship with god and through this he opens my eyes to the truth. May you all find God. I will pray for you especially bluechip as you are so far from knowing what is right and wrong in life you dont realise what you need most is a revelation of what is right and wrong and in order to do so you will need to let go of your pride and stop believing your so clever because cleary your are allowing depraved thinking to rule over your mind.

well , February 26, 2010

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