News for Moms – use smiles, food, eye contact, touch and motion to help that avoidant baby!!
Babies – treat now, not later!! Have that baby that won't look at your face, even if standing on your head? Will look at your mouth or nose, yet not your eyes, especially when you are holding them? That baby that won't snuggle deep in your arm? That baby that you just don't FEEL cares if you are around or not, or seems to care until you pick them up? Doesn't cry or coo? Frets and whines a lot? Very withdrawn or passive? Has poor muscle tone? Slow to creep, crawl or sit up? Is called a "too good baby"? Has no joy that touches their soul? Has a history of multiple caregivers and or neglect? Or chronic inconsolable pain?
If so, your baby or toddler most likely has signs of attachment disorder. If not helped, there is GREAT danger for their emotional healthiness, as well as the lives of those they touch. By age 5 they can be hurtful to pets, have frequent lying, be extremely manipulative, devious and destructive. It only gets worse. ACT NOW!!
There is help out there, and the sooner you start, the sooner the baby can get on with its job of being the center of the known universe. It works, I know from personal experience. There is no quick fix, and it can take years for total recovery, yet the longer you sit and do nothing, the more damage is done. Love alone with babies with attachment symptoms is not enough!!!! And yes, a few month old baby CAN BE DAMAGED!!! My daughter was 16 weeks old with many of the above symptoms when we got her. I know of others. I will use the name "baby and toddler" as one as well as "Mom" meaning the primary caregiver.
I wish you all the best in your adventure. No one is superhuman, and there will be times when you cannot do all you want with your baby. Take heart, NO ONE can do it all!! If your baby is getting emotionally closer to YOU, you are doing great and giving the baby a priceless gift. I have worked with older children with attachment problems also, and believe me, NOW is the easiest and best time to start!! God bless you on your adventure!
Beth McCann Bucksport, ME
Please feel free to copy this paper and give to anyone who might use it.
This treatment and paper have been approved by Dr. Dan Hughes, attachment specialist. Thanks Dan.
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